What do you write when you don’t know what to write?  Where do you start if you don’t know what you want to write about but deep down inside all you want to do is punch the keys on the keyboard and make words that flow together into a good story that is entertaining enough to read?  It’s frustrating.  Very frustrating actually and I am not sure how to bust out of it.  One way, I suppose is the stream of consciousness writing.  So if this goes off kilter in some way, you’ll know that

A book group friend of my fiancee’s, whom I consider my friend too, asked me about this the other night.  She suggested I consider writing as a gift to myself.  It immediately struck me as a great idea, a great way to exercise my self esteem and do something for myself that costs nothing but a little time

It was – no, it IS, an idea that I love…and so perhaps that will be my approach for a while.  Perhaps I should also not worry too much about posts that HAVE TO BE perfectly written, or written for any one particular person or one particular audience.  I have heard when people write they generally have someone in mind they write for.  I get that.  I’m guilty of that.

I just need to start making that person me.

If you read the blog before this you know I am a fan (new fan) of Jenny Lawson.  I read her second book first and am reading her first book now and in it she says bloggers are pretty much broken people.  OK, not all bloggers are broken.  But many are.  In some regard, I get that.  I agree with that.  I am that.  But, we are all a little broken somehow, someway so it is not an insult or a bad thing.  At least, not in my opinion.  I may go back and read that part again.  Maybe a couple more times.

But I am still – without a complete in depth understanding of what she is saying – ready to agree with her.  I love Lawson’s blog.  Smart.  Funny.  Random.  Disjointed.  Goofy.  Nonsensical at times.  It speaks to me.  It is a lot of fun to read.  Besides, if it turns out that my blog is a fraction as funny or as entertaining as hers I would welcome said broken brain with open arms … which in theory is healthy but in actuality, the image is totally gross.

So, you know, here it is, here you go, there it is.  It ain’t much now but hopefully in a few months will be.

I’ll let you know then.

But, until then, I give this to me as my first gift. Happy birthday to me – six weeks late … OR 46 weeks early.

I must remember to send me a thank you note.  Or Aimee.  It was her idea.  Thanks, Aimee.