F**k.

Despite that being the first word of this review, there is no shortage of words to describe this woman. Resilient. Dogged. Fighter. Modest/humble. Survivor. Ostensibly vulnerable, yet never weak. Funny, often self-deprecating with her humor and at times facetious. Most of all, human.

Very human.

So, before you start, I need you to get Kelly Bundy out of your head. It isn’t about her. Don’t get excited about, or look forward to, stories about Samantha Newly (Samantha Who?), Jen Harding (Dead to Me), Veronica Corningstone (Anchorman movies) or even her stint opposite Ricky Schroeder on Silver Spoons (yeah, I had no idea either … apparently Jason Bateman and Alfonso Ribeiro were regulars along with appearances by Matthew Perry, Sharon Stone, Joey Lawrence [whoa!] and Whitney Houston [a month before her first single, Saving All My Love For You, hit #1].

You With the Sad Eyes is not about any of them. This is about Applegate, and not a trip down memory lane with Bud, Peg and Al.

It is a very human story that talks about a less than enviable childhood, being drugged and sexually abused, breast cancer, and Multiple Sclerosis. It is about an angering and heartbreaking period of her life trapped in a relationship which was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive.

That was excruciating to read. It makes you better understand how women – regardless of fame, fortune, influence and appearances – can be trapped and feel unable to escape in abusive relationships for genuine fear of their life, and those they love. If it doesn’t, you’re a psychopath (yes, I know the difference between this and a sociopath).

It doesn’t matter who you are, or your station in life, thousands upon thousands of women live in fear of men who use varying forms of abuse to feel in power. These are small-minded, weak and insignificant little creatures who thrive on making women live in constant fear. Men who deserve to feel unspeakable and indescribable amounts of pain with little-to-no chance of reprieve, for the rest of their days.

As a woman I admire and love greatly once told me, “Forgiveness is God’s job, not mine.”

Applegate never says who he was, but I hope his name will surface one day and his comeuppance will be made public, and well documented.

It was a month before its release that I learned she had a book coming out. I was excited to hear everything about her, and I decided then and there I am going with the audiobook. I wanted to hear her tell me everything.

Well, she does.  So, prepare yourself. I’m nearly certain it will leave you stunned and wordless. I finished this book a week ago and didn’t feel right about saying anything until now.

Yes, the first word of this review began with a swear which began with an “f” ended with a “k,” and wasn’t firetruck. I am aware of this. But it was not used gratuitously to garner attention. It was because it was my first thought, and the first word which passed through my lips, moments after I finished.

Who knows? It might cross your mind, too.

This gets five stars from me but not only because of how it was written and or how well she narrated it (very well, I might add).   But also, because of how raw and exposed she let herself be.

It was staggering.

…and I am not going to call her brave for doing so, mostly because I do not like that word and think it is thrown around too frequently diluting its true meaning.  We are not talking about women and men who work in emergency services or ducking artillery in a bunker.  I will, however, use words like altruistic, enduring and doting – all hopefully received here as the very best of someone. A person whose life story can be a channel for those who come after, seeking help and the support they deserve, yet made to feel by others that they aren’t.

Well, they are deserving.

You are deserving.

… and she wants to make sure you know it.