Tag Archives: Books

You with the Sad Eyes – A Memoir by Christina Applegate

You with the Sad Eyes - A memoir by Christina Applegate

F**k.

Despite that being the first word of this review, there is no shortage of words to describe this woman. Resilient. Dogged. Fighter. Modest/humble. Survivor. Ostensibly vulnerable, yet never weak. Funny, often self-deprecating with her humor and at times facetious. Most of all, human.

Very human.

So, before you start, I need you to get Kelly Bundy out of your head. It isn’t about her. Don’t get excited about, or look forward to, stories about Samantha Newly (Samantha Who?), Jen Harding (Dead to Me), Veronica Corningstone (Anchorman movies) or even her stint opposite Ricky Schroeder on Silver Spoons (yeah, I had no idea either … apparently Jason Bateman and Alfonso Ribeiro were regulars along with appearances by Matthew Perry, Sharon Stone, Joey Lawrence [whoa!] and Whitney Houston [a month before her first single, Saving All My Love For You, hit #1].

You With the Sad Eyes is not about any of them. This is about Applegate, and not a trip down memory lane with Bud, Peg and Al.

It is a very human story that talks about a less than enviable childhood, being drugged and sexually abused, breast cancer, and Multiple Sclerosis. It is about an angering and heartbreaking period of her life trapped in a relationship which was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive.

That was excruciating to read. It makes you better understand how women – regardless of fame, fortune, influence and appearances – can be trapped and feel unable to escape in abusive relationships for genuine fear of their life, and those they love. If it doesn’t, you’re a psychopath (yes, I know the difference between this and a sociopath).

It doesn’t matter who you are, or your station in life, thousands upon thousands of women live in fear of men who use varying forms of abuse to feel in power. These are small-minded, weak and insignificant little creatures who thrive on making women live in constant fear. Men who deserve to feel unspeakable and indescribable amounts of pain with little-to-no chance of reprieve, for the rest of their days.

As a woman I admire and love greatly once told me, “Forgiveness is God’s job, not mine.”

Applegate never says who he was, but I hope his name will surface one day and his comeuppance will be made public, and well documented.

It was a month before its release that I learned she had a book coming out. I was excited to hear everything about her, and I decided then and there I am going with the audiobook. I wanted to hear her tell me everything.

Well, she does.  So, prepare yourself. I’m nearly certain it will leave you stunned and wordless. I finished this book a week ago and didn’t feel right about saying anything until now.

Yes, the first word of this review began with a swear which began with an “f” ended with a “k,” and wasn’t firetruck. I am aware of this. But it was not used gratuitously to garner attention. It was because it was my first thought, and the first word which passed through my lips, moments after I finished.

Who knows? It might cross your mind, too.

This gets five stars from me but not only because of how it was written and or how well she narrated it (very well, I might add).   But also, because of how raw and exposed she let herself be.

It was staggering.

…and I am not going to call her brave for doing so, mostly because I do not like that word and think it is thrown around too frequently diluting its true meaning.  We are not talking about women and men who work in emergency services or ducking artillery in a bunker.  I will, however, use words like altruistic, enduring and doting – all hopefully received here as the very best of someone. A person whose life story can be a channel for those who come after, seeking help and the support they deserve, yet made to feel by others that they aren’t.

Well, they are deserving.

You are deserving.

… and she wants to make sure you know it.

Just the Book I Needed …

From March 21, 2016

If I am being honest, the book took me by surprise. I didn’t realize how much I would like it. To me baseball books are all the same. Don’t get me wrong, I like them and the fact that they’re all the same doesn’t really bother me too much. When you love the game, it’s perfectly acceptable. But what threw me for a shock was how this book made me feel like I felt when I was 11 years old.

calicojoe.jpgIt put me back on my old little league field, the old benches in the dugout with fresh paint, the dirt and gum wrappers on the floor. When I would stand on the mound, my weakling little arm feeling like rubber, six innings in with pitch counts not to be considered for another 25 years or so. Letting up hit after hit and that rare feeling of amazement when I struck someone out. I may not have been all that good at the game, but the game was always faithful, true and honest with me. She was the love of my young life.

I think if I could rate books in terms of baseballs and not stars I would give it five baseballs … this way those who are like me – men and women who still daydream about playing every spring and summer day of their life – would know this is a baseball book worth reading. Because it is.

But to the rest of the world, I’m not so sure. You can call it a Father-Son book if you want. You wouldn’t be wrong to do so. But we all take different things from books, don’t we?

It allowed me to have flashbacks of a wonderful childhood when baseball meant everything. It was all that mattered. Batting averages and RBIs, extra base hits and ground balls with eyes; dying quails and drives in the gap. The perfume mixture of a leather baseball glove, Red Man chewing tobacco and pine tar. Oh dear God, I swear to you, if they could bottle that mixture and make it a perfume it would save marriages.

Just the feel of the ball hitting the sweet spot of the bat. When you know you’ve hit safely in the gap, your confidence as you round first, just like the big leaguer’s on television and that slight chance you can stretch it into a double. My God it’s so romantic. I just don’t know anything else like it.

All of this, and so much more, were the images I conjured up when reading this little story.

Do you love the game? Are you a nerd and daydream about breaking up double plays and unsuspectingly drag bunting a ball down the line when the corners are playing you deep? If you are and if you do, read Calico Joe. It won’t take you long to get through, but the memory of it will last for a long time.